3 Ways To Celebrate Being Unique (Daily)

One of the biggest life lessons I’m learning is how to be my biggest fan. LoveBrownSugar is all about celebrating our lifestyles, embracing what society has typically told us was not beautiful and proving to the world (and to ourselves) that we’re beautiful beings. Of course, all this is easier said than done. Even someone with the highest level of confidence has those small moments when they absolutely despise the little quirks that make them different from the masses. As someone who highly relies on daily reminders, I thought I would share with you guys three ways I celebrate my uniqueness, daily:

1. Don’t Follow Trends (Make Them)

As much as I write and research trends and the latest runway fashions, I’m far from trend-obsessed. I celebrate personal style and not everyone who follows runway trends is actually stylish from my perspective. Just because a designer sends something down the runway, doesn’t mean I’m going to love it or it will look good on me. I wear things that make me happy! The dress I'm wearing above is 5 years old! And I paid less than $25 for it. I still wear it because I love it. When you live life according to your own rules and not everyone else’s, it’s freeing. I celebrate my unique tastes daily by expressing myself through fashion. I wear what I like, not what the world tells me to like.

2. Embrace Your Body (Don’t Cover It Up)

Whether you have curves for days or you have a petite boyish frame, you should embrace what you were blessed with daily! Want to know a secret? As much as you loathe your body type, somebody out there in the world wishes they had what you have! Believe it or not, the same things we were blessed with and we take for granted, somebody else covets. So instead of drowning yourself in all-black everything to disguise those things you view as imperfections, embrace them. Celebrate what makes you different. Because someone out there who sees you on the street, at the market, or on the train is secretly celebrating for you.

3. Do Something Silly (Crack Yourself Up)

Laughter is therapeutic. Not only does it burn calories (woot!) but being in a happier mood can improve your overall health. So you tripped up the stairs on the way to work? Laugh about it! Feeling like a morning music party in your PJ’s? Go for it! Life is way too short to let those little moments of bliss pass by. 

The folks over at BlogHer introduced me to this super cute Facebook app/game called Facestrument. You can pretty much do this from anywhere where there’s a computer with a webcam installed. The app turns your face into a musical instrument allowing you to wink, blink, nod, and smile to the beat of your favorite song. So hilarious. It works great as a midday pick-me-up at the office - just make sure your boss isn’t watching!

When all is said and done, you were fearfully and wonderfully made, so embrace what makes you unique and different because there’s only one you! And that’s definitely something to smile about.

Beautiful In My Own Skin

 As a child, I was always told I was beautiful. As the baby girl in the family, my parents and older siblings nurtured me and constantly reaffirmed that I was intelligent, capable, and beautiful both inside and out. Looking back on it, those words of affirmation truly gave me the initial spark of confidence I needed to pursue my dreams, but without my believing it myself those words wouldn’t have been worth anything. Hearing from others that you’re beautiful can provide an amazing boost of confidence, but the only thing that will truly sustain it is if you believe it yourself.

Being comfortable in my own skin has been less of a destination and more of a continuous journey. As a pre-teen, I thought that I was ugly, fat and undesirable. I started developing at a much faster pace than the other girls in my elementary school. I’ve always had curves (and pre-high school, curves were largely undesirable) and I’ve always gone to schools in which I was the minority. So, my youth was marked by a continuous struggle with being comfortable and confident in environments where I was simply different.

Now, as a style blogger who tries to use my words to inspire and empower through the lens of fashion and beauty, I have discovered that you can have all the red lipstick, high heels and little black dresses in the world, but if you’re not comfortable in your own skin, you’ll never truly feel beautiful.

Clothes, shoes, makeup and all the wonderful things we fashion-forward girls enjoy daily are amazing fixins, but they’re not a cure-all for self-esteem issues.

Feeling beautiful is a process that involves self-evaluation, honesty, and a vulnerability that’s not always easy to achieve. I admit that I don’t love everything about my body, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I believe that I was beautifully and wonderfully made, and no amount of fancy perfume or red-bottom platforms will change that.

 Here are some ways I’ve grown to feel beautiful in my own skin:

I switch up my look often:

There are so many interpretations of beauty. Why settle for just one?

I’ve found that trying out new looks makes me appreciate myself in a new way. If I can love myself equally as a brunette or a blonde, with curls or with straight hair, with or without makeup, I’ve learned to embrace beauty that remains the same regardless of other things that change.

I wear clothes that flatter my curves.

Even though looks aren’t everything, being comfortable in what you’re wearing plays a huge role in how confident you feel.

I’d love to try every trend that comes down the runway. But instead of being incredibly uncomfortable and “on-trend”, I choose to interpret the trends with silhouettes that are flattering and make me proud to show off my curves.

I surround myself with positivity.

Me and my Mom

Earlier in this post, I touched on the impact that having positive affirmation during childhood provided for me. It doesn’t stop in adulthood. I’ve been blessed with an amazing network of friends, family, and associates whom I can call on for inspiration and encouragement. One of my biggest role models, my mom, provides me with daily inspiration, and I use her as the framework for what I consider beauty from the inside out. One of the keys to feeling beautiful is surrounding yourself with people who affirm those sentiments. Only keep positivity in your corner, and you’ll see it manifested in your life.

Do any of these methods work for you? What do you do in your daily life to feel beautiful in your own skin?

This post is part of BlogHer's My Beautiful Moment series, made possible by Olay.

Breaking The Silence: A Response To "Bloggers & Body Image"

Last Friday at around 8PM when I saw this post on IFB about "Bloggers & Body Image" pop up on my Facebook timeline (c/o of Kelly from Masque Mag), I winced and clicked, hoping for the best but dreading the worst. Based on just the Facebook comments, I knew it was going to be a controversial article before even opening it. As an overview, the premise of the article is to examine and provide commentary on the plight of non-traditional or niche fashion bloggers. The opinions expressed hinted at the idea that the most successful fashion bloggers are not just successful because they fit within the fashion industry's ideals (non-minority/young/skinny/modelesque/all of the above) but that they're also successful because their blogs just have better quality overall. They have discipline, they post higher quality images and they post more consistently.

Gabi Gregg & Myself 

Within the plus-size blogging community, for example, the author essentially argued that aside from bloggers like Gabi Gregg and Nicolette Mason (both of whom I love to pieces, by the way) there aren't enough high quality bloggers with curves or other non-traditional qualities for brands to take notice of anyway. After reading it at least three times and combing through some of the commentary surrounding the issue, I proceeded to write an honest and emotional response. I poured out my heart in the comments section. And almost immediately after writing it, I erased it.

As someone who has been very vocal about my issue with body image and the role it plays in social promotion within the fashion industry - both online and offline (if you haven't yet, please read my Why Don't You Love Me: An Ode To Outfit Posts article), it would only seem natural for me to have an immediate and honest response to this issue. I saw fellow bloggers like Marie Denee of The Curvy Fashionista, jump in with poignant critique in the comments section. I saw offshoot posts in defense of quality bloggers with curves over at Shamepuff. Up until today, I've even seen video responses from bloggers like Comme Coco voicing their opinions and frustrations. Still I refused to respond. I've kept quiet for the past few days, not because I was scared or "over it", or because I have any allegiances to IFB (though I am an occasional contributor for them and I do really enjoy it), but because I didn't think voicing my opinion would even make a difference. Sad, right? Sad that I'm at the awkward intersection of frustration and nonchalance with this industry, so much that I don't think my commentary or even writing this post your reading right now, matters in the grand scheme.

This past weekend, I was interviewed by a publication about my opinions on the plight of minority fashion hopefuls and our lack of representation in the industry. I was open and honest in my dialogue about it.  Over and over, I keep seeing and hearing these themes about the lack of diversity in fashion and the inherent void it leaves in the hearts of talented people who never really get a chance because they're not enough. Never enough.

Estee Lauder spokesbeauties: Joan Smalls, Constance Jablonski, Liu Wen

From the time I decided I wanted to pursue a career in the fashion industry, I've been faced with some hard, grim and painful realities. In my attempt to make my personal dreams come true, I've been slapped in the face with the truth about what it takes to make it to the height of true success - not just in the digital realm but within the industry as a whole. I've seen fashion/beauty editor friends who can't advance any further in their careers at mainstream publications because of glass ceilings, and so they're essentially forced to work for more "diverse" publications in order to be promoted and appreciated. I've seen bloggers with all the potential in the world, the most amazing style, and personalities to boot consistently overlooked by the very brands they promote on a daily basis. I've seen interns passed over for full-time opportunities because they weren't the right "fit". I've seen stylists with immense talent and drive and creativity, relegated to working on projects that never see the light of day. It's been a real cup of reali-tea for me.

Refinery 29 recently released an article "Obviously People Judge Your Picture Online..." citing an infographic from HSN Beauty about the correlation between beauty, images and social promotion. The results weren't surprising. The resounding theme includes the idea that people who are pretty or have more compelling images are more likely to get jobs, brand opportunities, endorsements, and be "liked" or "searched for" overall. Seeing this put quite a few ideas in perspective for me.

Coming from a background of nurturing and encouragement, and growing up in a household where I was told I could do anything I put my mind to, this environment came as a shocker. Nobody told me that I couldn't open doors for myself. That someone else had to open them for me. And that perfect proportions or straight hair would open the doors much wider, so that I could actually fit into their narrow openings. And the older and wiser I get, the more I begin to question if my opinion really matters when things are so slow to change. Like a tree falling in an empty forest, if nobody hears these cries, do they really exist? You decide.

I want your opinion. Is there an eternal cap on success for non-traiditonal beauties attempting to work in this industry? If my hair isn't stick straight and neither is my body, am I eternally doomed to being ignored by major labels and being offered opportunities? Furthermore, is it even worth taking about?